January 22, 2009

Tuesday night I went salsa dancing. Some of us took a class and then went later that night. The class was really fun, I love dancing, ya know, but the actual going out part was not that fun. I don’t want to meet guys, I just want to dance, but meeting people is kind of unavoidable if you want to dance. Ugh. So we ended up meeting these guys and they were very nice, but of course, I wasn’t interested. Only one of them was a good dancer, but he would only dance with me once because I think he was trying to get me to dance with his friend…anyway it ended up not being very fun, and I don’t know what I expected…I really want to take just private lessons, I think that would be best, because it would allow me to dance without the pressure/discomfort of going to a club. (hint hint wink wink, parents  haha j/k.)

On another note, yesterday I tried to find an internet café closer to my house that is open past 5, but when I finally found one (its not very close), it started getting dark so I had to go home almost right away. Tomorrow though I’ll be able to be online for a while, so that’ll be good. I went with a girl from LA to the inauguration, and although we are super different, we kind of hit it off…I might have already written about her in the last blog, I don’t remember. Any she is leaving this weekend, but I really like her. Her name is Becky Wahlstrom I think…Anyway she’s an actress and has done a bunch of TV. I was just thinking one of the reasons I think I liked having her around was because she doesn’t really speak much Spanish, so I was always translating for her, and helping her understand. I think that made me feel needed, or feel important…always so selfish I know, but it made me feel good to have her rely on me a little. I wasn’t like, her savior, but I helped her some…

I was also thinking about the kind of people that are here, and what they are like and what they all have in common. Most people are a bit older than me, between 29 and 60. Although they are all ‘open-minded’ and apparently willing to help the world around them (a lot are here to volunteer) there is this air of…pride, I guess, that is around everyone, kind of stuffy, ya know, and like they only live life for themselves. I guess that is how we all are to a certain extent, but its different here. People just come, and travel, and explore, seemingly without a care in the world…I don’t know, its weird the way I feel in relation to the people I meet here. I feel very different and disconnected, like I can’t related to anyone or their experiences or personalities or anything…Only with my teacher, and I think its because she’s a Christian.

For example, today we went to these Mayan ruins that were pretty neat, although I wasn’t really moved or super-excited like I usually am for those sorts of things. (you know me, I love that stuff!) it was weird. Anyway, we ended up seeing some people doing some sort of cleansing ritual at an ancient site. It was interesting, and one of the ladies next to me was holding her hands up like she was worshipping or participating in some way…odd. Anywho, on the way back, a girl asked me what my missionary friends would think about these old religions. I’m not sure what they would think, I told her, but I know what I think, and I think that missionaries have often been wrong in the way they handle non-Christian beliefs. However, I told them all exactly what I believe about Jesus being the only way that we have access to God and that he is still alive and what being ‘born again’ meant. I also said I felt Christianity and Jesus and God could be relevant to all cultures, and many missionaries in the past have come beating people over the heads telling them their entire way of life was sinful. It was a quite uncomfortable because I am sure everyone in the van disagreed with me, but they asked, so was as honest and simple as I could be.

I guess that’s what I mean about feeling different and not being able to relate. I live my life for a totally different reason than most people I have met here. I live to be with the Lord, and they don’t.

But I can’t even begin to describe the things that I am learning from actually reading my Bible. Its really awesome. I strongly urge you to read the Bible, from the Gospels through the New Testament. Its so enlightening and invigorating. You can really know what you believe, and see it in the word for yourself. For so long I’ve gone on believing things only because someone preached it to me. Now, when I read it in the Bible that I know to be truth, it strengthens my faith so much and makes it so much more personal. It’s great. For example, I always knew that God answers prayer, but when I read the book of John, Jesus says over and over in chapter 14 and other places, that if you ask anything in His name, God will do it! It’s just really cool to affirm my faith.

Well, I’m going to read some more and watch a movie or something…The Greenes brought me a bunch of pirated DVD’s haha  .

Love you all,

Noelle